“Content Creators Are Mentally Unwell”

A few years ago I saw a video about content creators/influencers. In the video, they said, “All content creators/influencers have something wrong with them”.

This means anyone who publicly talks about their personal experiences or embarrasses themselves online can’t be mentally sane.

Ever since then, I haven’t forgotten that.

As someone who loves social media, better known as being chronically online, I tend to post quite a lot of content. And for some reason, people love it. Yet, with every viral video, I noticed a trend. When I’m in a BPD episode, sleep-deprived, or off my meds, my TikTok engagement skyrockets. I began to wonder if the people in that video were right. Am I only interesting when I’m suffering? Am I that uninteresting?

When you grow up with a big personality, the world shuns you and shuts you up. That’s what happened to me. I learned that making myself smaller is the only way people will like you. So I did that. I was tired of being told I talk too much, too fast, and it’s annoying. Now, at 25, I’m learning to take up space again, to be a loud voice, and still feel confident, to be myself.

Going viral made me feel like, for once in my life, I was someone people wanted to listen to and that I wasn’t annoying. I felt like what I had to say mattered and that people wanted to hear what I had to say. Which isn’t good for my mental health. Which then leads me into this rabbit hole. I stop sleeping which adds to my mental health deteriorating, I start posting a shit ton for no reason, I feel embarrassed, and then I stop posting. The internet is fast and you ARE forgettable. I feel like I have to constantly make great content. If not for the instant gratification or increase in my self-esteem, it’s to make sure I don’t embarrass myself when I know people I from all my life are watching.

So maybe they were right. Maybe all content creators have something wrong with them or are mentally unwell. Or maybe it’s just a self-fulfilled prophecy